So you don't hit girls...but what about boys?

[DisneyBoy]

While discussing the Rihanna/Chris Brown situation over on the Entertainment board, I realized I wanted to talk about what I consider a really outdated misogynistic cultural trend - Men who refuse to hit women because they're female.

I'm NOT advocating violence against women in any way. Rather, I feel that we shouldn't feel okay hitting anyone...male OR female. But there's this idea out there that boys should be able to fight, and take a punch just because they're men. We see it all the time outside of clubs, and on the schoolyard, and sometimes even in our own homes. How many times has a son punching out his father been used as a crux in movies? The son overtaking the father by a show of physical dominance is practically glorified. And the woman slapping a man during a dispute? It's a common cliche. You don't normally see guys hitting their wifes on tv shows when they cheat, because if you do, the man ceases to be sympathetic in any way. Why is there such a big difference? Why are these gender roles still in play, when violence, at least in my eyes, is violence. Something we should always walk away from.

So here's my question, aimed at those of you who always make it a point to walk away from a violent women without raising a hand - do you do the same for the men who confront you in your life?

If so, why? And if not, why not?

 

[TheTerror]

While discussing the Rihanna/Chris Brown situation over on the Entertainment board, I realized I wanted to talk about what I consider a really outdated misogynistic cultural trend - Men who refuse to hit women because they're female.

I'm NOT advocating violence against women in any way. Rather, I feel that we shouldn't feel okay hitting anyone...male OR female. But there's this idea out there that boys should be able to fight, and take a punch just because they're men. We see it all the time outside of clubs, and on the schoolyard, and sometimes even in our own homes. How many times has a son punching out his father been used as a crux in movies? The son overtaking the father by a show of physical dominance is practically glorified. And the woman slapping a man during a dispute? It's a common cliche. You don't normally see guys hitting their wifes on tv shows when they cheat, because if you do, the man ceases to be sympathetic in any way. Why is there such a big difference? Why are these gender roles still in play, when violence, at least in my eyes, is violence. Something we should always walk away from.

So here's my question, aimed at those of you who always make it a point to walk away from a violent women without raising a hand - do you do the same for the men who confront you in your life?

If so, why? And if not, why not?

It is not okay to hit anyone but it isn't okay to lay your hands on a woman unless she is causing you major harm. In most cases they cannot defend themselves on the same level that a man can and harm to a woman can lead to things such as birth defects in the future should they concieve.

Anyhow, this is silly, hopefully a mod closes this.

 

[Lelouch]

I don't really think this thread is silly, as it stands the question itself is a decent one. However, that being said, the only way this discussion will work is if people are civil, and don't throw around ignorant and rude comments about each sex.

As for my opinion on the subject, I think either sex abusing the opposite, or even the same, is wrong, and if they do it there should be consequences, regardless if whether or not they are male or female.

 

[DisneyBoy]

How is this discussion silly? I think it's a topic worth exploring a bit, given the "no hitting women" rule has been in existence for a very, very long time. These days, especially after the Obama election and the issues surrounding Prop 8, discussions of equality and re-evaluating long-held belief systems are important.

Not that I plan on bullying anyone into agreeing with me, mind you. I just want to talk.

In my mind, fighting with a guy can hurt his ability to reproduce as much as fighting a woman.

And what about if the woman is bigger and stronger than the guy she's hitting? In my eyes, nickel-and-diming it doesn't really make much sense. No hitting either way is a better rule.

What kind of guy should have to stand there and take abuse just because it's coming from a woman? This is a little off-topic in a way, but sexual assaults against men are significantly less discussed and reported because of these types of gender beliefs. Men = strong, women = weak.

So like I said...what are your thoughts?

 

[Rud]

One of the few things that make me cringe is when you see the heroes in certain media saying some crap like "well, i don't normally hit girls, but il have to make an exception this one time" or something stupid like that, come on!

 

[DisneyBoy]

...reminds me of that great scene in Batman Returns when he knocks Catwoman down and she pants "How could you...I'm a WOMAN!" and then kicks the rap-cray out of him

 

[Temple Fugate]

As a general rule, I avoid physically harming someone--man or woman--for a few reasons. The first is because of my overbearing conscience. The last time I initiated a fight, I ended up going on a guilt trip for a week, and ten years later I still feel horrible about the whole incident.

The second is, I can't follow through with a punch or participate in a two-way fight to save my life. If I hit someone, and they hit back, and we start fighting, I'm going down hard.

Finally, personal space is a big deal to me. Even so much as slapping me on the back in a supportive or congratulatory way will put me off and I have to force myself not to get riled up. Conversely, I treat others' personal space the same way I want mine treated, and tend not to invade it unless absolutely necessary. I don't like physical contact unless it's a mutual thing. (i.e. Handshakes, high-fives and hugs are no problem because both parties are equal participants, but I get uncomfortable if I have to tap someone on the shoulder to get their attention.)

Getting back to the sexism issue, I think it's naïve and overly PC of society to homogenize everything so that both sexes are treated completely equally. Nature created the two sexes with distinct physical differences. It's a fact that the average woman has less muscle definition than the average man. There are of course exceptions to this, though, which is why I think it's better "manners" if you looked at it from a physically fit issue instead of a gender issue. A strong man can initiate a fight with a woman equally as strong, but shouldn't pick a fight with anyone who clearly is no match for them. Superman can punch an evil alternate universe version of Wonder Woman and still be heroic, but if he punched an evil alternate universe version of Jimmy Olsen, he'd be a jerk.

 

[FireWarrior]

IMO this topic is not silly. Women are just as capable of defending themselves as men and some can inflict some considerable harm. Seriously if a woman wants to physically harm me, I'd defend myself. Why? Because I don't get want to get hurt that's why! I'm not just going to stand there and take a hit because I stand by a really outdated code.

Standing there and taking a hit from a woman while not doing nothing = silly.

 

[Radical Raven]

IMO this topic is not silly. Women are just as capable of defending themselves as men and some can inflict some considerable harm. Seriously if a woman wants to physically harm me, I'd defend myself. Why? Because I don't get want to get hurt that's why! I'm not just going to stand there and take a hit because I stand by a really outdated code.

Standing there and taking a hit from a woman while not doing nothing = silly.

I'd like to jump in here; a deal of them can't.

I'm all for equality, but I don't understand this standpoint that men and women are completely equal in all aspects. There are strong women and weak men, certainly, but the majority of women are weaker than the majority of men. That's not sexism; it's science. The exception of course, is if the two partys are armed.

DB, I would'nt even worry about the Chris/Rhianna thing right now; we don't know enough facts to make any type of judgement.

 

[Desensitized]

I'll hit anyone back who hits me first, but I have never come to that extreme since I can usually talk things out with people in a civilized manner.

But I would never start a fight, so it would be up to them to strike me first. If a guy or a gal wants to hit me, they better be ready to deal with what I do back.

 

[Tapout]

Everyone should learn jiu jutsu. That way you won't have to hit anyone, you can just choke them out.

 

[Cool Blue]

It's good to hear a couple of these responses on this interesting topic. The reason is because I, like Firewarrior, have stated in conversation that I will defend myself if a woman attacks me and I get looks like "oh my god!" and stuff like "future wife-beater" thrown my way. I'm simply, what the heck is wrong with you people, if a woman seriously attacks me, i'm not going to stand and take it because although we may be "stronger", a well placed hit will do some painful damage regardless of how strong the arm behind it is.

 

[KPTitan]

When the "men can't hit women" rule was first invented or whatever, it was intended for situations where men just hit their girlfriends, wives, ect. for just the sake of being abusive to them. But, it doesn't neccisarily apply in a situation that requires self-defense, regardless of which person is being beaten, the man or the woman.

 

[Gokou Ruri]

Male. Female. Hitting someone has the same basis regardless of gender. Obviously in reality, we have double standards that will label it being more wrong to hit a woman than a man, even though it's just patronizing and defeats the entire concept of genders being equal. Saying you shouldn't hit a woman because they're born 'weaker' is just like me saying you shouldn't hit a man because we have a weak spot if you kick us in the groin.

 

[Miyamoto Musashi]

Boys mustn't hit girls cause they are more sensitive physically
Girls mustn't hit boys cause it makes boys look whimpy
Boy's mustn't hit boys if not in an authorised boxing or sport events (not in the groins, in boxing nothing under the belt)
Girls mustn't hit girls unless there in sporting event's

But the hardest thing is that a guy shouldn't hit a chick and he doesn't hit back when she's striking at him, she might hit in the nads , in this case she must have a lesson

Take my word after the first 4 sentences as scratching papers

 

[KPTitan]

How about this? Nobody hits nobody, unless in self defense. 'Nuff said.

 

[G. Wen]

How about this? Nobody hits nobody, unless in self defense. 'Nuff said.

Great answer! Look, the reality is, if you're being attacked and you can defend yourself, go ahead and defend yourself. From an evolutionary standpoint, you'd be stupid not to.

About the no hitting woman rule: not only does it only refer to instances of child/girlfriend/wife abuse, it was also created during a time when women didn't work out as much, and when they wore more restrictive clothing.

As for females being weaker: yes, we have less upper body strength, and we tend to have less strength than guys. But to imply that means women can't fight, hold their ground, etc., is ridiculous. In most martial arts classes, women fight against men all the time. The reasoning being, if you're ever assulted on the streets, the aggressor will most likely be male, and bigger and stronger than you. So might as well start practicing in the dojo.

 

[Kagetsu]

It seems to be a basic instinct to assert our will on others with a threat of violence. I'm generally argumentative. But when I clearly dominate in physical size be it girl or smaller guy, it's the same. Get in my face and I'll give verbal warnings that I'm about to cross the line to defend my person. Likely I'll hold back and choose targets that won't cause serious damage because I'm not in fear for my life. Girls, even more than guys can kick seriously well. I don't dismiss that lightly. So I expect girls to accept they are a threat when they scream in your face and know the aggression that guys will fall back on.

 

[AlgeaX]

I'd like to jump in here; a deal of them can't.

I'm all for equality, but I don't understand this standpoint that men and women are completely equal in all aspects. There are strong women and weak men, certainly, but the majority of women are weaker than the majority of men. That's not sexism; it's science. The exception of course, is if the two partys are armed.

What he said. If women we're equally capable of dishing out phisical violence do you really think they would have put up with crap like rape, domestic abuse and genital mutilation for the past 500,000 years?

Go get yourselves educated...

http://newsite.vday.org/

 

[Kagetsu]

What he said. If women we're equally capable of dishing out phisical violence do you really think they would have put up with crap like rape, domestic abuse and genital mutilation for the past 500,000 years?

Go get yourselves educated...

http://newsite.vday.org/

Genital mutilation is a religious problem and not one that anyone really wants me to get into. Rape, and it happens to men as well as women, is a violent domination of personal space,,, in the extreme. it happens for the same reason humans allow others to arrest/punish them. We accept less pain in fear of something worse.