When life gives you lemons.... ah, crap.

[ButteredToast]

Boy, it's certainly been a while since I've posted here.

A lot of things have changed here. I'm digging the new look of the place...

A lot of things have changed for me too. Most notably, my divorce. It was final this last Friday. Thankfully, it wasn't messy. Just very painful.

I look back on the past 7 years of my life, and wonder what I could have done to keep things from turning out the way they did. Sadly, I must confess that there was nothing that COULD be done.

As I pick up the shattered pieces of my life, I'd like each and every one of you to do something for me. If you have someone you care for very much, whether you're married to them, or engaged, or just going out... give them a big hug. Tell them how much you care about them.

Just... let them know.

Alright.. time to head back into relative obscurity. later...

 

[Czar Gato]

Sorry about your divorce, ButteredToast.

 

[Rune]

*hugs ButteredToast*

I'm sorry to hear you've had a rough time, hope you find new reasons to smile again soon.

 

[Elven Moon]

*pat on back and hugs*

My parents divorced a few years ago.

 

[Chime]

im sorry my sympathies. my parents got divorced 7 years ago...so i feel your pain. hang in there!

 

[ButteredToast]

Thank you for the kind words, guys... I'm trying to be strong about all of this, but I already feel quite fractured. I guess I can use a little emotional duck tape to hold it all together right now.

It doesn't help that I'm feeling a little bit more depressed every day...

 

[guinaevere]

A lot of things have changed for me too. Most notably, my divorce. It was final this last Friday. Thankfully, it wasn't messy. Just very painful.

Jeepers. I had veered away from this thread, because I generally veer away from posts that have the word "crap" in their titles. But now that I've read this, I'm sorry for neglecting it.

Mr Toast, I can empathise, having gone through a painful divorce myself. It IS horrible, and it is, on the whole, crap. And as much as I'm sorry to learn of anyone going through something as wrenching as divorce is, I'm glad for you that it's finalized.

I look back on the past 7 years of my life, and wonder what I could have done to keep things from turning out the way they did. Sadly, I must confess that there was nothing that COULD be done.

I'm more and more of the opinion, as I go through life, that much of what we suffer and much of what we celebrate, can be used for the greater good of those around us. Your 7 years of marriage, ending in divorce, may one day help some kid 50 years from now from making a small, or a drastic mistake. It can make those 7 years pay off and be worth the world to someone.

As I pick up the shattered pieces of my life, I'd like each and every one of you to do something for me. If you have someone you care for very much, whether you're married to them, or engaged, or just going out... give them a big hug. Tell them how much you care about them.

Of course, it's entirely possible that I'm preaching to the choir, and you already knew that.

Just... let them know.

Thank you, Mr Toast.

I'm trying to be strong about all of this, but I already feel quite fractured.

To be fair, it's extremely difficult to be strong when you've made a solemn oath to someone, with the absolute intention of living out your life committed to them, and they to you, and that union is broken.

I guess I can use a little emotional duck tape to hold it all together right now.

I hear you. I wound up out of work on sickleave for almost 2 months, as my depression had taken over my ability to deal with any aspect of life. It took a very dear family, a decent counselor, and a kick in the backside from God to get me up and going again. Well, that and Prozak.

It doesn't help that I'm feeling a little bit more depressed every day...

Oh, Sugar. Hang in there.

 

[ButteredToast]

I can totally relate to being out on the lam on work. I was unemployed for almost a year during the trailing end of my marriage. I'm certain it was a catalyst for deterioration of my relationship with her.

 

[guinaevere]

I was unemployed for almost a year during the trailing end of my marriage. I'm certain it was a catalyst for deterioration of my relationship with her.

Again, be fair to yourself. The stress of unemployment, and not being able to find a job, effects more than just your income (as if that wasn't enough!). It can eat away at your self-confidence. And this effects everything you do, including your relations with those closest to you.

No, I'm not saying you're without fault, because we don't know the instances (and this is probably for the best, as right now, you seem to be in need of support, and not the analysis of strangers). But I beseech you that you be honest with yourself about outside influences and circumstances, and the fact that we, as humans, aren't supermen.

Though I'd like to be thought of as a Mensch. That would be kinda cool.

 

[True Noir]

Sorry about what happened, Buttered Toast. I will take your advice to heart.